dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize