In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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