..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize