That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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