dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize