You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize