Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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