Porn is love you can see.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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