Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Pants are for mortals
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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