this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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