I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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