I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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