he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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