Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize