I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize