I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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