Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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