he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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