I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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