I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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