You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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