Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
time to smoke my breakfast
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize