He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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