Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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