she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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