i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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