She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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