Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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