She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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