already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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