Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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