Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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