So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
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It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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