By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize