I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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