grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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