I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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