Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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