I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize