I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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