I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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