i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize