You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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