that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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