what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize