Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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