I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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