So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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