I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize