I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize